The Graceful Impermanence Of Life

Life is an ever-flowing stream of experiences; it waits for none, spares nobody, and shall keep flowing ahead. All that exists today, including ourselves, are a result of all that made way for it to exist; in another sense, impermanence is the reason for our existence. On the flip side, all that exists, including our most valuable possessions, relations, achievements, and journey, remains clouded with impermanence. Human beings realize this at the deepest level, yet we struggle with change, we try to cling to what was, and our minds run havoc with 'what if' scenarios. If we look deeper, we realize that it is futile to fight impermanence, not only because it is inevitable but because it made what we value possible in the first place. For a second, look around yourself, and see some of the most important people in your life today. Aren't there many who were unknown to you a few years ago? Aren't there people who came to your life as a direct result of a change you may have wanted to avoid years back, such as moving to a new city, moving on from a relationship, or a career switch? With all that said, impermanence is difficult, we struggle with it, and it is precisely why I take this subject up. In this blog, I explore ways of understanding impermanence whereby we can genuinely appreciate the gift of life. 

Once again, welcome back to Tea Break With Life. It is after 11 months that a full-length blog is being published on the platform. 

The Struggle with Impermanence: 

Constant change was tangible in my life, much more than most people. Thanks to constant transfers in the banking sector, I had my schooling spread across six different and diverse schools. While that remains a fascinating subject for another blog, my focus is to stress my earliest interaction with impermanence/change. It used to be difficult moving to a new city, new schools, and leaving behind your best friends and familiar surroundings. The first few days will be all about missing all that is being left behind. I remember some of the earliest changes, cribbing and demanding Amma and Pappa that we go back. However, over time, I became a part of the community in the new place, and leaving that place became a problem! (Look at the irony, or isn't that pretty much how everything works?). I believe the most significant addition to my personality development was this diverse set of experiences. Over time, I realized this pattern of change and became someone who is always excited about change and the things that await ahead.  The same struggle repeats in our life when we move to a new career, when a relationship ends, when friends drift away, yet all this leads to things we are scared of losing. 

Think about it; we actually do not know what awaits ahead. The following person you meet might be your future best friend, a romantic partner, or someone who changes your career direction. Yet, they might just be a random 'hi' along the way! Take a second to realize the profoundness of this simple idea; life is ever-evolving, and none knows the experience that is around the corner. However, to be completely open to this possibility and live it to the fullest, we have to ground ourselves in the present and let go of that from which we are moving ahead. 

If life is a long walk that we are on, some people join for a brief moment while passing by, some walk with us for a few rounds, and a small group becomes our tribe in the journey; a special someone might be a partner for the whole journey. Ultimately, everyone will drift away by time, choice, or circumstances. Finally, we shall, too, walk to the sunset of life, melting away in the path! But the beautiful, exciting moments of the journey shall live on. However, only one question makes sense in the present, wanna join me for a walk on this journey? 

Understanding Impermanence: 

Impermanence is a lived reality in the natural world. It was a constant theme in most indigenous traditions. Even in spirituality, it is a well-known and widely used term. In the Hindu tradition, material existence is powered by the energy of 'Maya,' which by nature is impermanent. However, in the Bhakti tradition, it has a more positive spin; it is the 'Lila of Bhagwan,' a sweeter way of expressing the same phenomenon. In the Buddha's teachings, the impermanent nature of the world is constantly stressed, as is the case in Sufi poetry. None of these call for apathy for the world; it instead points to a more profound wisdom of living in the present as existence itself. In our mind's chatter or rant against change, we miss what is present, the possibility of this moment, the only reality there is. 

Yet, even when one recognizes all that was discussed above, it is highly possible to feel like questioning change. It is justified to ponder if things were different; in one sense, it is a poetically beautiful expression of human existence itself. At the same time, as a small guiding light, have this profound wisdom in you that this shall pass too. In nondual spiritual terms, it is not change happening to you; instead, it is the change being experienced through you; we are intimately one with the experience. Sometimes, it is acceptable to tell life not to bring change, request things to stay on, dream about it, and remember that it may not listen to you, which is not necessarily bad. As I write this, one of my favorite Ghazal lines comes to my mind: 

"Aaj jaane ki zidd naa karo
Yunhi pahlu mein baithe raho
Yunhi pahlu mein baithe raho
Aaj jaane ki zidd naa karo

Haaye mar jaaen ge ham to lut jaaen ge
Aisi baaten kiya naa karo
Aaj jaane ki zidd naa karo"

There can be no argument that the above lines are extremely beautiful. It is a human expression of wanting to hold on to people, experiences, objects, and moments. Yet, all of them will flow away, making way for other beautiful stories of life. I remember a funny comment by a close relative of mine who said, "Years will pass away, we will all die, and yet people will be here happily enjoying; this is so sad (laughter)."  While the joke is on point, think from a different perspective; how magical is it that we are currently alive where millions have lived their stories before and million will after us? A thank you note is in order for life! 

The great value of anything comes from the fact that it has an end. A moment is valuable for it ends; the same is true regarding the most remarkable book, stories, movies, music, and life. The only ever-flowing yet deeply beautiful thing is conscious life itself, which is like the screen on which the greatest of movies are projected. The screen makes the film possible. Similarly, we are all unique expressions of life, unique stories unfolding each moment! 

This blog has undergone so much change, from being extremely active to a blog published approximately once a year. There may indeed be a day the blog itself will be a silent memory, but we are not there yet. Sometimes, life will shake you up with change, and you may feel a little lost; none of this philosophical mumbo-jumbo may help. I am reminded of a beautiful quote from Nolan's Dark Knight Trilogy, "Why do we fall, sir"? "Because we can learn to pick ourselves up!". If you are going through a difficult time, remember the old Buddhist quote, "This shall pass too."

As I write this, I remember all the remarkable people who have come into my life, the beautiful moments, the ups & downs, and all that await ahead too. Each ending is a beginning, and each beginning marks an end. Let us dream big, chase them, and follow our passion while being grounded in a deep silence within, a silence that precedes all experience, a space that is ever-present yet remarkably silent, the screen that makes our life possible! May we empty ourselves for life to express itself through us! As Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh says, "A lotus for you, a Buddha to be" 

 Thank You for reading.

The Revolution of Love shall win! 

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-Sreesreshta Nair (SN)